It's all wrong...

I think I tell my blog more than I tell my friends. They should all read it and comment instead of talking to me. You know how I can tell? Well...
Recently, I've become slightly obsessed with reliving my lost childhood (No, seriously. I read Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone when I was, like... seven. I lived to be the best in skool. No childhood, whatsoever.). As a result, I've been watching Blue's Clues a lot lately. WHY DON'T THE YOUNGLINGS REALISE WHAT WE'RE PUTTING ON THEIR TELLY? In this past episode--I'm not even done with it yet--I've seen cannabalism, whores and what I only take as a pedobestiality relationship. How did this show last ten seasons!? THE SALT AND PEPPER TALK TO YOU. THE FRUITS HAVE FACES. Kiwis don't say 'kiwi.' Kiwis are generally silent and you have to scoop out the inside. Salt and pepper don't have other spice children and they certainly don't have what appear to be French accents. Shovels and pails shouldn't both be male; pails are clearly female. And that side-table will open her drawer for anybody. His soap is sentient and is named Slippery Soap. Of all the names, why that?!
And there is clearly something wrong with the relationship between Blue and Steve. Why d'you s'pose Blue tries to keep us around as much as possible with her little clues and is always hiding from Steve? The man wears khaki all the time. I don't trust people who wear khaki all the time.
In the case of pedobestiality, do you call the ASPCA, PETA, or Social Services?
Blue is hiding from the graphic things fan-fiction people do to her: *Shudder*

Weirded out that my spellchecker is okay with pedobestiality,
Murphs.

Seriously. There's no red line. Three times in this post, and no red lines under any of them.