I'm Baaaack.

Indeed I am. And would you look at that! There's going to be a comic on Thursday. Aren't you all lucky? I will spare you all the gruesome details of my return trip home, and just tell you it sucked. And I may be spending the night with an old friend tomorrow (New Year's. Score.).  It seems my life is less boring than I make it out to be.

Murphs

Good News, Everyone!

So guess what. Go on. Guess.

Abney Park has a date that they'll be playing in Seattle. Yes, this means I can FINALLY see the airship pirates in concert. Well, hopefully. Anyway, this shindig is goin' down on Feb. 6th (Thats' a Friday, before you check your calandar) at the Heaven nightclub (172 S Washington St, so I don't forget). That's all I have right now, but I am SO attending. Maybe I'll have a real driver's license and won't have to bother anybody for a ride (a parent will still demand to go, I can tell).

Keep it brassy,

Murphs

SURPRISE.

I failed to mention here previously; I'm going on holiday. Starting in about... seven hours. Surprise! So there may be no updates... but this time, it won't be because I'm exceptionally lazy. 

On the other hand, this gives me plenty of time to rework Spatterdash!, which I've rewritten. Or rather, written. PLOT. Anyway, I'll load what I've already gotten, and Smack Jeeves will release it when I tell it to. 

I like this version better, even if we don't meet Mick Murdoc for a while. 

OMG UPDATE?!?

Murphs

AUUUUUGH

Jesus Christ, my Mac is so loud it sounds like its an aeroplane about to take off. Honestly, I've looked this up and it's not just me! When I tried the methods given for fixing this problem, Lucy (the Mac) shut down on me! I'm so, so tempted to just rip her apart, and since my warranty is up as of about two weeks ago, I'm really tempted to open her up and clean her up... but I know I shouldn't. (DAMNIT WHY IS THE WARRANTY UP NOW?!)

GOD DAMNIT.
Murphs

Today is definitely one of those days where the people who fake stupidity are going to make me kill things. Like them. PAUL.

...Angry Bits is angry.

As it is a Monday, I'm tired. As I haven't slept since yesterday, I'm angry in the recently awoken from hibernation bear-type of angry. Go away.

Murphs

THiS THiNG iS AMAZiNG. I want one.

Murphs

Only time will tell

I sometimes feel like my life is a badly-made shirt wore by someone denying that they are in fact, three sizes larger. If you  don't read that simile, my life is being pulled apart at the seams. If I can't figure out some way to release all the tension building up in my head, I will probably lose it and cause a scene. Now, if I really want my high school footprint to be as anonymous as my middle school's, then I cannot cause a scene. 

By the time anybody reads this, I'll either have already relieved myself of tension or lost it. 

Only time will tell. 

Murphs

GODDAMNIT

I haven't blogged in a while. Nor have I posted up a comic in a while. THERE IS GOOD REASON FOR THIS. I just can't think of one. I'll take care of the comic tonight (hopefully). My home internet has been down, and I've only been able to get onto the highly filtered school internet. (This is no excuse, though). 

Inexcusably, 

Murphs

Eleventh Hour

Sometimes it feels like there aren't enough hours in the day for all the stuff I want to do. You guys have all seen me at my worst, when I'm slogging around, sleeping and generally avoiding work. This is me at my best, when I'm like some sort of genius demented squirrel-person; 

Oh! I'm going to play FF XII! Wait, no, I want to play Animal Crossing, sure wish I had the new one, no, no, I want to play Wind Waker, since I still haven't finished it, no, wait! I should work on the Spatterdash! site, 'cos it looks kinda ugly right now and I know I can make it pretty! Hang on! I want to draw some comics right now, since the inspiration is here right now and all. I should check one of my manga and see how my comic looks next to it, damn I suck, I  really should finish that series, get the second book, it's the only one I don't have. Ooh! Amazon has recommendations! That looks interesting, I should check it out online. This is a fun anime, I should watch all twenty-six episodes tonight. Hang on a tick, did I do the Japanese homework Ned gave us? Did Ned give us Japanese homework? Oh, wait, I forgot my book at school anyway. I still have to read The Road, though, maybe I should do that. Oh, Jesus, Ned has to read all of our abominations of post-apocolypse horror. Probably more grammatical horrors than the descriptive type. 

... So what if I am doing all of those right now?

Murphs

Money, money, money.

Guess what?! ChaCha paid me. It's more or less all gone by now, what with previous costs (PS2) and a bunch of Threadless Tees. Six. But you know ... totally worth it. 

I behind on The Road (Cormac McCarthy) the latest of Ned's seminars. About fifty pages behind. 

You all know this is one giant list of stuff to be done, right? I don't really care about what you think about the blog, here. (Yes I do.) I wonder if Chenoa is ever going to work on the yearbook. If she's leaving... who's going to do anything on it? It's probably the last year I'm going to give a rat's ass. I want a decent yearbook. Goddamn. If I have to do this myself, my life may be less dead than originally thought.

Hell. My second DnD group has apparently been meeting behind my back. I've been invited back, probably because I'm DECENT AT PLAYING, TERRANCE O'CONNOR. This doesn't matter to me. It's being arranged. 

I'm going to start ChaChaing again since I know for sure, you know, that they pay. 

One thousand plus questions in less than twenty days while working on the magickal novel of doom? Yes. Why the hell NOT?!

Aesthetically pretty,

Murphs

Success!

The presentation, for those of you not in attendance, was brilliant. 

But enough about me. Except for that announcement, I have only one thing to share with you: 

Mustaches of the Nineteenth Century

For all your archaic mustaching needs.

Wants a faceshelf,

Murphs

Set, Match indeed.

Hey. Hey. Guess what? 

I'm done. 

All the posters are pretty, with in-depth things of joy to do or read. 

There's a MacGyver sky lantern. 

There's a pattern for a paper boat, along with paper and a tub of water to set the boats to  sail in.

The scones are baked. The clotted cream is in the refrigerator. 

There's an optional pattern for a paper hat and newspapers at school. 

The flour is in a tupperware, and I'm pilfering Kibbles's balloons at school for the papier-mache bit. 

The steampunk gear is sitting on my desk, waiting to be worn. 

The zeppelin is the only thing left, to be painted and emblazoned with her name, the thing I thought I had plenty of; The HMS Entropy, ready to be presented, Your Majesty.

Murphs

You know what I should be doing right now? Working. You know what I'm not doing right now? Working. I'm such a masochist; yes, I will have this done by Friday! Assuming that I don't sleep for the next forty hours. There are zeppelins to be painted, posters to be made, scones to be baked and pamphlets to print. There is information to be memorized and a monocle MUST be found! There is a better pair of spats to be sewn and button'd. There are books to be found and books to be read and Japanese to be learnt and a novel to be written and a film to see! I AM NOT GOING TO SLEEP FOR THE NEXT FOUR DAYS. *slams head into wall and crais*AND OMG WHAT AM I DOING TALKING TO YOU? 

But a date has been set. I may be in over my head, but I can damned well start digging up.

Game. Set. Match. 

Murphs

Bribery!

My parents are attempting to bribe me with a car. No, really! They want me to go take a bunch of mundane classes at the community college so that they don't have to pay for and to keep me in the house longer. 

They've made me an offer I can hardly refuse; $250 towards a car for every class I take. I really DON'T want to sell out, but... a car means virtual freedom. 

Now, you're thinking; why not do it, Murphs? Go and get credit hours and free college credits and a car! There's a catch, though! THERE IS A CATCH THAT I SEE LOOMING ON THE HORIZON LIKE AN ELEPHANT IN THE CORNER. They don't want me getting away before the ABSOLUTE end of my senior year. This car is virtual freedom and figurative prison. I have no desire to stay in this town. I have been brought to Spokane against my will and have been on good behaviour, working hard to get out ever since. I WILL NOT STAND FOR THIS.

I wanted a nice, basic elephant. 

Murphs

OMG PLEASE

D'you all remember almost exactly a month ago, when I was really, really hoping I'd made the ChaCha cutoff? Well... I didn't. Everything is on Eastern time, versus Pacific time over here. Jesus Christ, though. When Ned suggested this, I didn't know it was going to be so hard. I s'pose I can only hope for a regular job soon. God knows I've filled out enough applications to bury a small child. 

In any case, I'm also going to start learning HTML so that my Spatterdash! site will begin to look most awesome. It's very complicated. 

Nothing clever to say,

Murphs

Waste of Time

My college trip was a total and utter waste of my time. And your enjoyment. After all, nobody got any Spatterdash! (no, there won't be one today) or any of my witticisms here (yes. You do get that today.) You don't get a whole lot, though, because I am quite tired. I hate bus-fulls of screaming kids, whether they be screaming teenager kids or of the younger variety. Damn kids. 

I want a duodecimal system...

Murphs

Damn you, Sandman!

I think I made him angry once upon a time. Maybe he's close friends with the teeth dragons? I have refused to place teeth under pillows since I was seven...

Oh, you probably don't know what the teeth dragons are. It's very simple. There are no tooth fairies, I'm afraid. Not one. There was a missing limb fairy, but I don't know if she's still working that job. 

Teeth dragons. The first thing: there are a dozen-dozen teeth dragons at every moment of every day. Exactly a dozen-dozen (that's a hundred and forty-four, for the maths impaired). To every tooth dragon, a human tooth is a thing of beauty; a sliver of anthropoid ivory. They pile them up in shoe box-sized dens and perch atop them, like their larger cousins do gold. 

Next: as for the money you receive from the teeth dragon, it's all fake. It's modern-day leprechaun money, and vanishes seven days after it's first touched by human hands. That's why teeth money isn't worth very much, nothing for an adult. One dollar missing? Whatever.

Yes. These are the teeth dragons, the far more interesting version of the tooth fairy I invented at a younger age when I though fairies were for girls. The best teeth dragons, I decided after the second time I read The Hobbit (the only Tolkien book I ever finished) at eight, I decided that teeth must attach to the bottom sides of the teeth dragons too, and they were obviously ivory-white themselves. 

I had a very strange childhood...

I miss the missing-limb fairy...

Murphs

Coming up later in the programme...

I'm going on a college trip this weekend. From early Sunday morning to Tuesday afternoon, a bunch of schools on the West Coast of Washington. Mind you, I don't particularly want to go to university in Washington, but any reason to go somewhere is very welcome indeed.

How excitin'. Anyway... I'm kind of avoiding maths  homework/tests, mostly 'cos I still haven't learned a damn thing, but partially 'cos I don't really give a rat's ass about Sande or his 'maths'. Anybody with sense can see that maths class is a play, the books props and all the students fools. Whatever. I've got the state-mandated 2 years worth of maths, and I've passed the maths WASL, so I really feel no obligation to do anything.

Hell, if Sande's going to be a douche and tell me I can't graduate from RLA with those credits, I'll go back to RHS for a semester. I'd be graduating early anyway. I've seen my credits sheet. I'm ahead.

Maybe U of Portland,

Murphs

President Elect

So the polls are closed, and Mr. Barack Obama is the new President Elect of the United States of America. 

I have nothing to add to this (hopefully) historical day. 

Murphs

OVERLOAD.

I repeat: Overload. 

It's only about a thousand-and-a-half words, I thought. It's only one webcomic, I said to myself. It's just one project, I told meself. It's only ten books, I announced, placing them on the library-books bookshelf. It's just one more thing, all the time, right? One more game, one more book, one more thing; I'm sure I can do just this one more thing by [date]! 

Overworked? What are you talking about? I'm not overworking myself, I'm an overachiever! I'm a go-getter! I am far too busy being a nerd to stop working.

01001100 01100001 01110100 01100101 0110010

Murphs 

PS: It's binary code!

Laaaaame

For the most part, you all suck. Goddamnit. Except Henry, I'm the only one that ever posts on a blog anymore. While I find it mildly saddening that my life is devoted to my blog, my new web-comic and reading (oh the horror. oh no. how will I live with this terror?). While Ned probably has something nice-ish to say, like that reading is good for you or something I feel equally cynical about, I don't particularly care. Whatever. All Hallow's Eve draws near, as does the frightening month of November. 

Merry Halloween, (or something)

Murphs

Hey, d'you remember when I  used to talk about important stuff, like... um... er... Hey, d'you remember that one time when I ranted about the bipartisan system, and it sounded really nice? Yeah, I didn't either. 

Also, does anybody remember that wretched 'podcast' I did on steampunk? Christ, that sucked. I had no idea what I was talking about. I fix this now, ja? LINK I'm totally game to admit that I still haven't the foggiest what I'm talking about, but I'm great at BSing, dontcha think?

Damnit, with E Day drawing near, I feel a call to action, to do something anything! But then I look at it all, and realise again that I don't agree with any of these people. I'm a radical compared to these people; an anarchist, archaic, immoral, writer, lazy, nihilistic, good-for-very-little gamer. A terrible gamer at that! For the love potatoes, I live in my parent's basement! I don't know what I was thinking! A call to action? Who do I think I am, Barack Obama? Hilary Clinton?! 

No, no. I'm just Murphs. I don't have huge fans or campaign posters or a pretty vice-presidential candidate or even a decent project to my name. Instead, I sit in my hole-in-the-ground and watch politically incorrect cartoons and Labyrinth. I think I pissed off the Judge of the Multiverse before I was born. 

[insert something witty and vaugely related to this  here][now laugh]

Murphs

I missssss yooooouuuu.

It feels like we haven't spoken in a while, even though I  know I just posted Thursday. You will all be quite excited to know that I've come up with a schedule for Spatterdash! Sundays, Tuesdays and Thursdays. Now I've got deadlines to never meet!

I also turned in an application at GameStop and I really hope they call me because I could really use a discount on games.

Murphs

It's gone.

My spark, that thing that makes me work so hard... It's vanished, again. I have a reasonable worry that's it gone for good this time. I just want to watch really old films (Like Labyrinth again. Holy Merlin, I love that film.) and eat potato chips. And video games. I am playing video games like there is no tomorrow. I am finishing games that I've been putting off forever. VIDEO GAMES ARE EATING AWAY AT MY LIFE. 

...I want to play Spore. Aaron says it's a great game. I should have told my mum and dad that I wanted Spore for my birthday. Better yet, I should have told them I wanted Okami, because that game just looks beautiful. 

Freakin' gorgeous. 

LOL WORDPLAY.

Murphs

Loading...loading...

You like me. You all really do. Somehow I magically obtained 100 page views on Spatterdash!. How I have accomplished this, nobody could know. 

(Its magic)

Murphs

Spatterdash!

I've done it! By George, I've gone ahead and done it! I've begun a webcomic, just to give it a go. Also 'cos its not like there's anything else for me to do. 

The comic is Spatterdash! and features the nefarious shenanigans of steampunks Paddy 'Bits' Murphy and Emily 'Kibbles' Wilson. Since Ned's probably going to be the first to see this post, I'll tell him here; Ned gets his own character that's based partially on him. I won't go into too much detail, but Professor Quentin Runcible is quite possibly my greatest creation ever. Forget Nigel Cavendish (based off of Joel). Prof. Runcible pwns anybody so far. 

Spoon.

Murphs

Blah Blah Birthday

I can see my birthday from here. And dear god. It's come so soon. My mum keeps interrogating me about what I want to do on my birthday. To be quite honest, I want to see that film on religion or W., but I know she'd probably rather burn every quilt she's ever made than take the family to either of those. I'd like to go have sushi at Ichiban, but I'm the only one in my family that really likes sushi.

Especially white tuna sashimi...

Murphs

Sure hope I made it.

I admit, I was really excited when I began working for ChaCha, but the excitement died quickly. Unfortunately, very few people ask good questions. As per usual with myself, I gave up pretty quickly. I noticed last week that I was fairly close to the Paying mark though (You need to make at least $100 before getting paid) so I figured, what the hell? and went back to work some. I have wants, as you know. 

Except my off (read: narcoleptic) sleeping schedule prevented me from doing much until tonight. So I was rushing to answer 230 questions in four hours. That's right: I'm an idiot. 

This wouldn't have been so bad, but it got down to the wire, hardcore. (You have no idea.) And then the tally that tells me how much I've made stopped working. So right now, I'm in an agonizing purgatory until its either fixed or I check my bank account. I assure you, I am praying that I made enough. To whatever mad scientist created this messed up universe: PLEASE LET ME HAVE MADE THE MARK!!

Cold Pizza, 

Murphs

SPONTANEOUS CONVERSION!

Friends, the world has reason and love again. This love and reason has a name, and readers, it is  beautiful. Friends, readers, people who don't really know why they're here: I give you the meaning of life, and it is CAKE BUFFETS. God loves us, you know (despite nihilistic  nigglings).

It's beautiful, isn't it? Oh, Ned! Why didn't we ever visit one of these while in Japan?! CAKE BUFFET. *crais*

Naw. Nihilist, Nonetheless. 

Murphs

What A Waste...

I can already tell that my October is going to pretty much be a waste. Despite my driver's license (Coming to a road frightfully near you!), the effort being put into my latest project and Halloween (Free candy!!) I'm probably not going to get much of consequence done this month. And November... According the the maths, if I want to reach my goal for National Write a Novel Month (I'm shooting high! 100,000 words!!) I need 3,332 words every day until midnight, November 30th. 

That's right, readers. There will be no Steampunk Convention for me. There will be no theatre viewing of Death Note: The Last Name. I had such plans! But you know. The best laid plans of mice and men, ect, ect...

(Often go awry)

Murphs

Finger Angst

Steampunk is going to massacre my hands. I've only just begun the framework on the HMAS Mad Carasella, the papier-mache zeppelin I'm doing for school. Mad Carasella seemed somewhat appropriate. I am absolutely mad, and carasella, though not an actual word, is part of a line from Sleep Isabella (Abney Park). 

Dance child, dance.

Murphs

Fun! Work! Steamy things!

I did it! I buckled down and made my freakin' steampunk goggles. They're classy. Here's what I did, more or less. To be honest, I hardly did any of that. But it was a basis! 

The welding goggles I purchased (for a mere seven-fifty after student discount) were already black, so score for me! I didn't own any brass-coloured paint and there was no way I was waiting. I'm very impatient at times, so what I did instead was take the lens caps, roll them about on a black ink pad, and dust them with embossing powder we still have from when my mum was into stamping. Then I had to heat them to make the powder melt the way it's s'posed to (A real mess that was!), but I think that end result looks better than the tutorial's way, don't you? Oh, and I decided to keep the green-welding lens bits in. My eyes are sensitive to sunlight due to hours in my basement hole, plus then I can look awesome if I ever decide to learn how to weld. Or rather, when I decide to take action on my wish to learn to weld.

The fabric hated me too,

Murphs

PS: I've got a follower, even if its just my loverly Meggles!

Purpose!

I'm predisposed to melancholy. Like Victorian people; never depressed, just melancholic (actual word). By the way, did you know that if you google Byron, you have to go all the way to the forth page for anything from Wikipedia? Usually that's the first thing to pop up,  but not in this case, apparently. 

But I'm getting off track. Sometimes I just need a nudge to get me going again, but sometimes I need a kick. My spark has been rediscovered, though it was certainly strange this time. Imagine: Usually, it involves making myself read a lot and  finding something interesting which I google and discover is fascinating! This time, the idea came when I was listening to music and trying to sleep (at noon). I suddenly remembered an article in one of my Steampunk Magazines about paper-mache, or rather paper-mache in Victorian era. It was the plastic of the time! They had developed water-proof, fire-resistant paper-mache. For the love of god, they made a paper canoe.

This is a medium that deserves attention. 

Hehe... Look up 'first computer programmer.' I found it quite funny. 

Murphs 

Steampunk Con!

There is a steampunk convention from Oct. 31 to Nov. 2, and I MUST ATTEND. I can kiss my first paycheck (coming October 15) good bye right now. It will be dedicated to a ticket, outfitting merchandise and all that stuff one needs to attend a weekend-long event. 

Knowing me, I'll completely forget to make arrangements and end up sleeping in the back of a baby-car the whole weekend and eating uncooked ramen or something. I take that back; I hate ramen. But I still simply must attend this gathering of like-minds. I will, undoubtedly, miss the trick-or-treating I had planned (Really. I'm almost of driving age and my Halloween was to be occupied begging candy from strangers and criticizing costumes of others.). But COME ON. Steampunk Ball. And the opportunity to meet Jake Von Slatt. 

AUUUUUGH. I wonder if my parents would give me a temporary loan for the ticket until I can pay them back on the fifteenth? Maybe. Assuming they'd let me go at all. My mum's still after me because I skipped school Friday, and the thirty-first is a Friday this year. 

Wonder if Kibbles would go with me? Maybe Bryce. He's into steampunk too, you know.

Steampunk Magazine, take me into the fold!

Murphs

PS: I've neglected to mention previously how much I've fallen in love with Abney Park: The Secret Life Of Doctor Calgori

American Football

I went to the RHS Homecoming football game. No, I don't know why I did something like that. Guess what, though? I remembered why I love RLA. Why, you ask? Because it's not RHS. My school has its weak points, no doubt about it. But good god. I don't even want to talk about it. The entire game, all I could think was thank god RLA doesn't have [insert horrible thing like band here]. Thank god I've got a brilliant teacher like Ned who takes us places like Japan. There are some wretched teachers at that other school. 

Gooooooooal!

Murphs

College Fair

I know this post is a little belated, but as you already know, I was quite tired before. The college fair kinda sucked. I mean, it was like there was no real organisation there. They could have at least grouped it by region. Preferably by their programs,  though. I mean, how was I supposed to find an ace film school in that muddled mess?

Yeah. This week's career of choice is somewhere in film... maybe a director or writer. No... I want to make a show like Blue's Clues... just as heinous to the older viewers. 

When I make Blue's Clues, New Zealand, I expect all previous blog watchers to watch it, religiously. 

Watch Blue. Love Blue. Obey Blue.

Murphs

Been a While.

It's been a while, hasn't it? Let's see... September 29... to October 2... That's about four days? Gomenasai, sorry. I've been rather tired lately. And busy with things that now that I think about it, were really rather stupid. But it's okay! I'm back and possibly better than evah. Not just ever, friends. Evah. Like the end of that Spoon song. 

On the other hand, you will all be excited to know that I have read through a lot of my stack. Some of the less interesting ones, and one that I haven't read for a while, Crooked Little Vein. I'd recommend it to anybody over the age of thirteen. Especially if you're into Godzilla. You'd love the beginning if you're into Godzilla and ostriches.

If any of you are interested (I know you're not, I'm wasting your time. You and I both know it.) I am currently making my way through The Beach, Alex Garland, and slogging through Last and First Men, Olaf Stapledon.

So don't you ever,

Murphs

A Little Thing

A little thing can change everything. Today, I dressed just a tad differently. Ironed my pants, wore the Nice Sweater that I hate because of the way it's cut. I brushed my hair. I BRUSHED MY HAIR. People didn't necessarily freak out, mind you.  But I got a definite 'Holy crap you look so much better this way' vibe. 

I freaking hate people. 

Now I'm going to make this bonfire toffee, because I'm presenting tomorrow, and food always gets good marks. 

Bam!

Murphs

Uninspiring

I am a waste of oxygen. I have spent my whole weekend either sleeping or watching recorded Scrubs and eating cheetos with chopsticks. I am a terribly uninspiring human thing. There's so many things to be done, but I just feel exceptionally tired, and I suspect that after I finish this post, I will finish my Dew and go back to sleep. And then I will wake up tomorrow and still be tired. 

Get me some concentrated caffine; stat! 

Murphs

Bonfire Treacle

So while Steve is practically fondling his bunny slippers on my telly, I'm researching how to make bonfire toffee. It's British and traditionally served on Guy Fawkes Night. I'm making it for my project on Fawkes. People are always super-impressed when you serve foodens. Actually, I think they're all just piggies...fatties...pudgy, flabby, corpulent lard-os. I fear a Food Courtia effect will take place on Earth; like the Invader Zim episode?
Anybody who will give them food obviously did a good job, otherwise they wouldn't have time to make the food, right? Goes the process of thinking. Nom nom nom, goes the room. Blah, blah, blah goes my 'cast.
All three clues have been figured out! We just figured out Blue's clues, we just figured out Blues's clues, we just figured out Blues's clues 'cos we're really smart. Actually, it's just me.

Fearing a Great Foodening,
Murphs

Celebrations

All my parents want to talk about lately is that I'm almost sixteen and how excited they are that they won't have to chauffeur me everywhere and I'll be able to get a job and apparently all sorts of things. Another certain friend appears to be excited about my semi-legality.
I'm rather depressed about the whole matter. It's still a fair way away, isn't it? I don't even want to celebrate this year. That's not supposed to happen for another twenty years or so, right?
I wish I could Blue-skidoo back to when I was five. The world was far less complicated and I didn't really care about foreign diplomacy or learning Japanese or whether or not Cthulhu would end man's reign over the world.
Kiddies are way more receptive and impressionable when they're five. There's a chance the fae would still take me then! I hate being this old. Ned didn't even believe me when I told him how old I was earlier this month.

DAMMIT BLUE, WHERE ARE YOU?!
Murphs

It's all wrong...

I think I tell my blog more than I tell my friends. They should all read it and comment instead of talking to me. You know how I can tell? Well...
Recently, I've become slightly obsessed with reliving my lost childhood (No, seriously. I read Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone when I was, like... seven. I lived to be the best in skool. No childhood, whatsoever.). As a result, I've been watching Blue's Clues a lot lately. WHY DON'T THE YOUNGLINGS REALISE WHAT WE'RE PUTTING ON THEIR TELLY? In this past episode--I'm not even done with it yet--I've seen cannabalism, whores and what I only take as a pedobestiality relationship. How did this show last ten seasons!? THE SALT AND PEPPER TALK TO YOU. THE FRUITS HAVE FACES. Kiwis don't say 'kiwi.' Kiwis are generally silent and you have to scoop out the inside. Salt and pepper don't have other spice children and they certainly don't have what appear to be French accents. Shovels and pails shouldn't both be male; pails are clearly female. And that side-table will open her drawer for anybody. His soap is sentient and is named Slippery Soap. Of all the names, why that?!
And there is clearly something wrong with the relationship between Blue and Steve. Why d'you s'pose Blue tries to keep us around as much as possible with her little clues and is always hiding from Steve? The man wears khaki all the time. I don't trust people who wear khaki all the time.
In the case of pedobestiality, do you call the ASPCA, PETA, or Social Services?
Blue is hiding from the graphic things fan-fiction people do to her: *Shudder*

Weirded out that my spellchecker is okay with pedobestiality,
Murphs.

Seriously. There's no red line. Three times in this post, and no red lines under any of them.

Contemplative

Man, I hate Mondays. You probably think you hate Mondays too, but I detest Mondays, I loathe Mondays, I abhor Mondays. Mondays are the bane of my existence. I'm more of a Friday person, only because I can't get the hang of Thursday (+42 Hitchhiker points!!).
So I get to spend all day on the School Blog; d'you all still remember where it is? I'm going to find three articles on Baggy Pants Laws.

ChaCha!
Murphs

Bored Out of My Wits

And that means you all get a blog. Actually, I'm just waiting for my last episode of Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog to finish loading. Slow internet, eh what. I think it's quite funny. Plus it has Felicia Day in it, and if you don't know who she is, I suggest hopping onto Google to find out about some of her other projects she's worked on like the video-podcast The Guild and a billion other projects. She's one to look up to if you're into acting.
And now for something completely different! I finally got a Netflix that I have been waiting for longer than I've been blogging. You can probably see it's bee a while. Two years, as a matter of fact. DAMN YOU SLOW TRANSLATORS. DAMN YOU TO HELL. Yay! Death Note's live action film is nearly everything I had so hoped, but with the added bonus of figuring out that I like subtitled films in strange languages more than our own. It's got the added bonus of thinking OMG, I just understood that! to your already superb film-viewing experience. On the other hand, I feel that they could have done a better job with just a little time. Oh well. Now all that is left for me to do is wait for the second part (which I already saw in Japan) The Last Name. Damn Japan trip showing me things I can't understand like Death Note and Professor Layton.
Yeah, have I mentioned I'm a rabid Layton fan? I am. I got to see an actual copy of the new one in Japan, but I knew I wouldn't be able to understand a word. I have to wait until Winter (which is probably for the best, as I need to get appropriate monies).

Wonder about the Legend of Neil...
Murphs.

I can stop whenever I want.

I'm in a short story contest on Gaia that's finally begun. I have until the twenty-second to complete a thousand-word story. That would typically be a breeze for me... so why can't I get it right?!
I dunno, maybe I'm all paranoid because somebody I don't know is going to be reading it. And this story... It feels like somebody else is writing it and using my keyboard. Haha... A ghost-writer has taken over my body. Ooooooh *spooky noises* ghost writing! My, that's funny. I wonder how many of you will get that.
Not enough.

Sockingly yours,
Murphs

Hello everybody, I'd like you to meet a personal hero of mine, who I look to for guidance in time of crisis. You've probably only heard passing mentions of him, probably in conjunction with the film V for Vendetta. For the record, I have viewed this man with marvel and reverence. This, my friends, is the original suicidal terrorist.
Ladies, gentlemen, members of the jury. Meet Guy (Guido) Fawkes, who on November fifth 1605, attempted to blow up the Parliament building. That takes guts. The PARLIAMENT building. Why don't I just go ahead and say it'd be like making a break at the Capitol Building for all of us American idiots.
The poor man was caught and hung, unfortunately, and the Parliament building never had it's day with the powder, but how much of a bang would something like that give, anyway?
You may be thinking to yourself, 'Why the hell are you bringing this up now?' Well, when I'm in the doldrums and need a project, I fix this by clicking on the Random Article button on Wikipedia until I find something interesting. It's Wiki-surfing. White people like it. I don't know if there's a post yet about Wiki-surfing. There should be. I expect Ned does it when he's bored, and there appears to be an awful lot of 'Stuff White People Like' that Ned does too. Speaking of which, NED. GET YOUR OWN BLOG SO I CAN LINK TO IT. I DON'T THINK ANYBODY ELSE KNOWS WHO I'M TALKING TO. That's okay, though. Nobody else reads this, either.

Fawke You All,
Murphs.

Nefarious Shenanigans.

If I go corn-free for a month, Ned will give me 'Heath and Fitness' credits. We all know this as PE, and I hate PE. I can totally do this. (Not really. I'm going to crack my first week.)
But anyway, Ned's new seminar is about the election/John Adams. It's both. There's an HBO drama about the man's life that Ned got on DVD, so now at least an hour of my day is spent watching the life and times of John Adams. FUN. I won't bore you, though.
I'm trying to think of anything fun I've gone recently, but nothing comes to mind. My parents are uber-pissed at me right now for reasons I can only interpret from rabid-parent as 'You don't ever talk to us.' Maybe they should try my blog; I can't seem to leave this poor, over-worked blog alone.
But I have a shit-tonne of stuff to do tonight, so I won't get the sleep I deserve or want. I'll probably get none tonight, to be honest. Probably have to work, too. Saving up for a trip to New Zealand (maybe to check out colleges?)

Ask ChaCha a question, maybe I'll be answering,
Murphs.

PS: DJ was getting over-used.

Moths

I just listened to The Fable of the Moth by Steven Beagle. (Thank you, PodCastle) Maaaaan, I feel insignificant. This is almost worse than the time I couldn't stop listening to Garbage Day (Russell L. Burt). Remember, people, don't go hit your head against lamps. It sucks to be a moth, I s'pose. Freaking moths. Eating my wool sweater that I hated anyway. Itchy Scottish wool sweaters.
I can't ever wear man-skirts, Kibawls. The only man-skirts I know are itchy. Urgh.
In other news, Scott Sigler's sequel to Infected is due out in December, and that's when he's going to start podcasting it. W00t. You have no idea how much I am looking forward to Contaigous. No idea.
Actually, it seems like the podcasting communittee is ASPLODING with book publications. Mur Lafferty's Playing for Keeps, the Future Dark Overlord's books in general, and finally the Ask-A-Ninja ninja's The Ninja's Handbook: This Book Looks Forward To Killing You Soon. I want to purchase this last book, and intend to as soon as my paycheck goes through.

I Am Yours Truly,
DJ

Ribbon

I can't figure out how to get my ribbon in properly. Dammit. On another dammit-type note, my parents want me to attend the church youth group again. I think we have the same argument about this every single time.

Me: I hate it there, I don't have anything in common with them.
Parent: Well, maybe maybe if you talked to them, you'd find something to talk about.
Me: I don't agree with them on any point any of them has made.
Parent: Say so, and maybe they'll learn something new.
Me: I think I've told them all of my points before and they're just as annoying now as then.
Parent: Well maybe you should listen to them more! All you ever do is talk and never listen.

This is usually the point where I give up, because I already see hypocritical points here. Same conversation every time. Drives me mad. Couldn't they at least try for a new argument?

Apparently hypocritically yours,
DJ

Work

I got a job. A job-job. For reals. I work for ChaCha. I answer the strange, silly questions people text. There are some strange ones. Yup... people are weird.
Googlingly yours,
DJ

Typewriter

Kibbles gave me a typewriter. All I can say to that is thus: OH MAI GAWD THANK YOU KIBBLES. It's probably a million years old and weighs nearly that much. I'm surprised my desk isn't cracking. I need to purchase a ribbon though, so I can type actual words.Did you know that the Qwerty keyboards were designed to be purposely inefficient so that keys wouldn't stick together?
I realise now why old desks are so fricking sturdy though. They'd have to be, to lift one of these beasts.

Inefficiently yours,
DJ

Burmuda?

RLA has already sunk into Doldrums for me. I have lost the ability to focus on anything I'm supposed to be thinking about. I'm going to stick up a sign that says that.

'Welcome to the Doldrums. You have now lost the ability to focus on any'

My god, I'm witty, right?

Tropically yours,
DJ

Props

You know, I thought about not signing into Myspace tonight (this morning?) because I was really bored and was going to try sleeping again. GOOD GOD I AM SO GLAD I SIGNED IN. I have seen the future, and I know where I will be, come April Fool's Day, 2009. I will be waiting in line at a cinema in my Ganny cosplay that I have yet to finish. If I am lucky, other Zelda 'tards will be in costume too. If I am extrodinarily lucky, somebody I know will be with me. I am being very vague when I say that, because I just want somebody who will dress up like Link. I would look silly standing in line as Wind Waker Ganny and have no Link at my side.

I'm joking, of course. The advert for what would appear to be an earth-shattering film is nothing but a well-played out April's Fool jest. But I'm not joking about my Ganny cosplay. I'm going to look amazing.
On the other hand, there is an indie-flick version of Ocarina of Time in the works here.
Well-played, IGN. Well played. You almost had me, but then Link had brown hair and the Sheikah was not tan enough. Also, there is no way they wouldn't make Ganny way prettier than that.
Your faithful Hyrulian 'tardo,
DJ

Modding

I've found my purpose in life. I want to modify computers and game consoles. Seriously. My god, have you seen what some people have done?
That is a computer, not a microwave. Well, it was a microwave in a former life, but no more! ...I totally want one just like it. The person who built this is my new idol.
Now, while these people probably don't have lives, that's just fine, because neither do I. I have the time to do these things, you know. I might have the skills, too... What's to stop me from find out?! I shall venture into unknown worlds and make sure that I have the coolest electronics evah. Not just ever, people. Evah.
I must take the first step. I am going to steam-punkify my Gamecube (mostly 'cos I'm not afraid of high costs if I bust it).
Founderingly yours,
DJ

I have only this to say: I freakin' love Japanese-based fantasy. See; The Snow Woman's Daughter, Eugie Foster. Fwa-bam.
Ohaio gozaimas,
DJ

Two for One

I know, I'm assaulting you with bloggage tonight. Two in one night! I mean, sometimes I give you one waaaay early in the morning and then another at night, but whew, two on the same night? Apparently I forgot to tell you something and remembered it. Was that an obvious enough hint for what is to come?
Yes, well, this is more like a warning for any RLA kids who read this thing... does anybody except Ned check my blog anymore? Actually, I suppose it doesn't matter if I ask, 'cos it's like saying, 'If you're not here, please raise your hand.' And that works every time.
Anyways. The Warning. Yes, I remembered it despite the half-rant I'd just started. I have a shit-tonne of books I have to pile through. (By the by, a shit-tonne is like an American shit-ton, which is approximately two thousand shit-loads.) And library books have deadlines! I must read these all by the eighteenth, so leave me alone until then.
Actually, I think it should be generally accepted that everybody leave me alone until December first. You see, I have to finish my shit-tonne of book and the currently unnamed ballad of the tinker and the drow before November. And the entirety of November shall be devoted to the final version of Mariposa's tale, which is what I'll be doing for National Write a Novel Month.
Yes, my head is going to asplode with words this Autumn.
Postally yours,
DJ
PS: Asplode: Verb, to self-combust or become structurally compromised in a most likely spontaneous manner.

Meh.

I have risen from my camp-recovery sleep. I bet you all missed me, right? Right? Not really, I suppose. None of you are any fun. What are you doing reading my blog anyway? Get a life, while you still can! It's too late for me... but you can still live...
Imma go back to sleep.
Dreamily yours,
DJ

Caaaaamping *whine*

I hate going camping. It's disgusting. We've graduated from living in caves to nice comfortable houses with heating and air-conditioning and refrigerators that work all the time. This seems like a step backward to me. WE HAVE REFRIGERATORS, BEASTS OF THE FOREST. TOP THAT.
If cockroaches ever take over the world, they will never get to refrigerators. Mostly because refrigerators have that automatic light. They'd hate that.
ANYWAY. I seem to have lost my direction... Hey, if they're refrigerators, are there frigerators? We can't do something again if it wasn't that way at one point before, right?

Frigidly yours,
DJ

RLA Blog

Riveting as Douglas Adams is, I know, I feel an important issue must be spoken of before the school year begins, which it will in scant two days.

Friends! Romans! Countrymen! Lend me your eyeballs;
I come to tell you to write on the blog, not leave it to fester!
I do not wish to be remembered for the stupid things of yester-year,
but hopefully semi-intelligent (I know, I'm pushing it) arguments!

Okay. I'll stop with the Julius Cesar; mind you, I expect half of you to have to look this up before you get the parody. (Here's a hint: google 'friends romans countrymen'.) I should hope Ned would get it beforehand, but there's no guarantee. All I remember are those four lines anyway.
Nevertheless. I expect a better blog this year! We have nine months, one hundred and eighty days to write about issues at hand, something interesting we've found, hell, even a countdown until school ends!
Honestly, if the spelling's as bad this year as it was the last, I'll probably euthanise the Rivercity blog for it's own good.

Shakespearianly yours,
DJ

PS: I get extra points for making up 'Shakespearianly,' 'cos he did it all the time.

My god, I love Douglas Adams

It is known that there are an infinite number of worlds, simply because there is an infinite amount of space for them to be in. However, not every one of them is inhabited. Therefore, there must be a finite number of inhabited worlds. Any finite number divided by infinity is as near to nothing as makes no odds, so the average population of all the planets in the Universe can be said to be zero. From this it follows that the population of the whole Universe is also zero, and that any people you may meet from time to time are merely the products of a deranged imagination.
-Chapter 19, The Restaurant at the End of the Universe

There was a point to this story, but it has temporarily escaped the chronicler's mind.
- Epilogue, So Long, and Thanks for All the Fish

We live in strange times.
We also live in strange places: each in a universe of our own. The people with whom we populate our universes are the shadows of whole other universes intersecting with our own. Being able to glance out into this bewildering complexity of infinite recursion and say thing like, "Oh, hi, Ed! Nice tan. How's Carol?" involves a great deal of filtering skill for which all conscious entities have eventually to develop a capacity in order to protect themselves from the comtemplation of the chaos through which they see the and world tumble. So give your kid a break, okay?
- c. unknown: 'Practical Parenting in a Fractally Demented Universe,' Mostly Harmless.

Infinitely yours,
DJ

NaNoWriMo?

I am going to participate in National Novel Writing Month! For those of you who don't know what that is (a fair few of you, I should think) here you are, a quote from the about section on the site, which will be linked.

'National Novel Writing Month is a fun, seat-of-your-pants approach to novel writing. Participants begin writing November 1. The goal is to write a 175-page (50,000-word) novel by midnight, November 30.'

I think this sounds like a ton of fun and will definitely be participating. Unfortunately, I'll be needing to finish what I've got, because I can't focus on two of my own plots at once. That gives me more than two months though, so cheer me on, readers!

Literally yours,
DJ

Wastin' time...

Doododoo... I told myself I would get to page twenty of my new novel by morning, but based on current speeds, that probably isn't going to be happening. I mean, I've only been at it for three hours and gotten a page and a half. I'm on eighteen now, but I don't have the energy to keep going for the next three it would take to get to twenty.
My god, I have such a writer's block right now... I need school again so that I can write when I'm s'posed to be working.
~DJ

My Insanely Long Holiday

Right-io, people. Ready to hear about my holiday? If you're not, I suggest you piss off, because that's going to be today's insanely long blog post. Insanely long.
The first four days, before the cruise--any comments on that and I'll kill you--we stayed in Roma, in a hotel with a faulty air conditioner. We saw the Spanish Steps, which used to lead to the Spanish Embassy or something; the Colosseum, named after the colossal statue of Nero that once stood by it, and the Rush of the Street Vendors, where in the unlicensed vendors of Rome pick up their goods and book it before the police confiscate their wares. I also had the benefit of seeing the Pantheon; truly, Hadrian was a great architect. Also got to see that enormous fountain of Poseidon. Good grief that thing's frickin' ginormous. I did throw ten euro cent in, though.
After Roma, we got on the cruise ship--I swear, I will do it--and went to the first stop, a place called Monte Carlo; heard of it? Of course, my parental units decided it would be fun to take a local bus up to a village set atop the cliff, and of course, we managed to mess that up, and ended up halfway to Nice before they realised that this was indeed an adventure, a word I reserve for when things go horribly wrong.
It was a relief to get away from Monoco; they're just too close to France for my liking. But what was more exciting was that it was to Firenze and Pisa. Now, all Pisa has to its name is a badly-made tower, but Florence has the David. I know! I saw it myself. And got a lovely postcard for Meggles while I was at it. I think that as an artist and friend of Kibbles and Bits, she will see the hilarity in this postcard.
After Firenze--which did indeed feel burning hot, we got to go someplace even hotter; Pompeii, friends, is deathly hot with little shade and an obscene amount of bench-areas in the sun. On the other hand, it was gorgeous. Napoli, though, was just as any other person who's been there will tell you: Not Pretty. Malesh.
After a lovely, lazy day at sea, I finally got my first sight of Greece, a place where the culture is old and it's not going to change, dammit. I'll be frank; I had to walk in donkey crap. They've got them going up the hills, and it's all over. The town of Santorini made up for it, I suppose. It was really very hot which made it hard to enjoy anything.
Kusadasi, Turkey was the most interesting port, in my opinion. Well... maybe not... But it was quite exciting. First we went to the house where Mary lived her last few years (rather boring) and then we got to see the old town of Ephesus. By god, that town had the most majestic library I've ever seen. Also got to see Roman lavatories, where people talked when they didn't have time for the baths.
We also got to visit the (destroyed) Temple of Artemis. Isn't a shame what people destroy for their religious sensibilities?
Also; I bought a small hookah. It's pretty and sitting on my bookshelf as I type. I won't make use of it, of course...yet.
After the insanity of Kusadasi, the quiet town of Mykonos (back in Greece) and the chance to just wander it was wonderful. I was puzzled however, by a square that had four churches within a stone's throw.
The general madness returned when we went to Athens. From the port we walked to the metro, something that I got used to right off, my family; not so much. In either case, we proceeded to the once-grand Temple of Zeus, by Hadrian's arch. It was a truly grand structure, even in ruins.
Unfortunately, after the temple was an exausting walk up to the Acropolis, the highest point in the city. I got to see the Parthenon; totally different from the Pantheon, as anybody interested in languages could figure out. The Parthenon is a temple to Athena and Poseidon, who fought to have the city named after them or some such. I also got to see the sacred olive tree, supposedly the same one that Athena gave the city. Oh; and I got Ned a set of worry beads. Figured he of all people could use them.
After the dirty grandeur of Athens, Kotakolon and Olympia were almost uninspiring. But to tell the truth, there's not much left to the original Olympic stadium. I ran across it, though.
The penultimate stop on our trip was Corfu, where we mostly sat on a rocky beach and the rest of the family played in the Med. I don't like getting wet. But the island was gorgeous.
The last stop on our crazy Mediterranean trip was Venezia, the city of canals that's sinking into the sea. The Piazza San Marco and accompanying basilica were the first places we went. It's large. It's got a clock tower with a lion on it. It's usually got some sort of music playing in it somewhere, and by god there were so many pigeons in that city... I hate pigeons. They're dirty birds; even got the word 'pig' right in their name! Serves them right to have the Venetians serving them birth control in the pigeon feed.
I bought a beautiful mask in Venice; it would have almost been stupid not to. I've got it on my wall with a cape and it looks marvelous.
We almost got the chance to go see Murano, where all the pretty glass if made, but we ran out of time. The glass was sold all over the city so I got to see some.
Now to complete this lesson, some Language; Mediterranean. Med-Middle, terran-Earth. The Mediterranean is the middle of the world (or at least it was.)
~DJ

Been a while...

I'm baaack! I know you all missed snippets of my terribly exciting life; but, what's this?! A European holiday?! You will all receive the details of this place after I sleep off jet lag.
~DJ

Worthless Human. Thing.

I am useless, and I think I'm rather fond of it. My average day includes twelve hours sleep, three hours eating at the last nine hours watching anime online/playing video games/maybe writing. What a wonderful existence I live. Dash it all, I hope I can make myself do something when the time comes.
~DJ

Here and Away Again

Today, my Jap'nese luncheon box came in the post--from Jap'n, I might add. Finding the package, I suddenly remembered my poor, neglected blog. You all missed me, right? Right? Riiiiight. You people won't even pay the comment tax! You're all illegal blog-readers! I take that back. Henry and and Ned are good. You two are legal.
In any case, worthless internet addicts, I am about to go on a very long holiday, an entire fortnight, abroad in Italy.
Look at me, the international traveler, ja?! I've spent summer in Jap'n--and become subsequently addicted to it's culture--and I'm off to Italy! Now to complete things, I cannot decide which country to settle in. New Zealand is the current destination. Great weather, English speaking and they filmed Lord of the Rings there. What more do I need?! We're talking about the film Lord of the Rings here, people!
Kiwis aside, because I love you all so much (and will be intensely bored in aeroplane rides and such) I will record my lengthy adventure (Adventure, noun, meaning; adult slang: Any outing that has gone intensely wrong) abroad for you in actual writing form. I will then type it all up for you ungrateful plebeians and post it on my emaciated blog. Happy, Ned?
~DJ

Scary Solstice

Enough about crazy Japanese luncheons. I have located a copy of A Very Scary Solstice by those tupping amazing people down at the HP Lovecraft Historical Society. They are like heroes or something. Scary solstices aside (There's two volumes of Lovecraft'd carols) the CD version of Shoggoth on the Roof has me positively quaking, though it is truly questionable whether from fear or giggles.
I have a personal love of the song, If I Were A Deep One allegedly by Old Man Marsh.

'If I were a Deep One,
blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub!
All day long I'd swim a'neath the sea, if I were a Deep One!
Terrify the tourists,
blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub blub!
If I were an icky, icky fish scaly slippery frog-eyed kind of man...'

We all want that, and you know it.
~DJ

Jap'n foods

The Japanese people have the weirdest lunches ever. I found this site; Bento Box and through it some of the things Japanese people use to make bento lunch boxes.
I have only this to say: It is a strange and wonderful culture indeed where one can purchase cocktail wiener shapers, cup noodle mugs that one can actually make cup noodle in, Hello Kitty pancake molds and--best for last--Hello Kitty boiled egg shapers. You can use them for onigiri too, if you're keen to.

On the side (from bottom to top 'cos I'm BA that way) is a penguin cocktail wiener cutter, fruity-lookin' mayonnaise holder-thingies, the promised Hello Kitty boiled-egg shaper and the bento box I plan on begging my da to buy.

GRAWR GRAWR EAT.

My bloggy-friends all suck. The most recently any of them has blogged was a month ago. A TUPPIN' MONTH AGO. Aaron, Kibbles, Meggles, Rawren. You all suck. A month. I can't do a week. You know what? I may have an addiction, but yeh know what? My addiction gives people who are bored at work somethin' to do. BUUUUUUUUURN!
Also, my stomach hurts.
This has been an announcement. Or somethin'...
~DJ

Politics

I'm curious; where does the rest of the world get its political news, or news in general? I'm pretty much only getting mine from the Daily Show (site here) and the Colbert Report (site here). I prefer the Daily Show because Steven Colbert is a prick.
There'll be a poll on the side with some options, but if you're fond of something I know I'll miss, put it in the comments.
~DJ

Well.

This is a little awkward. I mean, usually I blog every few days, but recently... I got nothing. All I have done recently is sleep, surf and eat. And watch telly. This is really embarrassing for me, and I am terribly ashamed of myself. To make up for this; David Tennant (the latest Doctor Who) in a man-skirt. He's a Scot, you know.

Hallo!!

I'm back home and debateably well-rested. And if I get about to cleaning my room, I might have Meggles and Kibbles over later... assuming I can get my ass in gear.
~DJ

Home!

Nothing of much of merit today--mostly shopping.
We visited the replica of the Golden Pavilion--the original burned down in '50 because a monk actually fell in love with it and thought that it was sinful or some such. I thought the whole affair was a rather tacky bit of architecture, but what do I know?
Then we walked to the Rock Garden, which is about a ten-by-fifteen rectangle of gravel and fifteen large stones. Supposedly, you can only see fourteen stones from any given angle, though Joel claimed to have seen all fifteen at one point *cough liar cough* . And Muhammad managed to drop a soda bottle in the garden and I moved away and heard people say 'gaijin' a lot. Can't say I blame them.
Going home tomorrow-
~DJ

Karaoke Time!

Sooooooo. I slept in today. YEY! Yeah, I slept in till about eleven-thirty thank god and as a result my feet can still feel ground. I played a hella ton of Professor Layton and the Curious Village. Great game, I highly recommend if you're into puzzles. In any case, the group went on from a train in Nijo Station to Kyoto Station to Kobe Station. From Kobe we were set free until seven and I think I ate five helpings of gelato--I'm a fan now. Me, Mac and Skye were also accosted by an old man on a bicycle.
We all met up at Titty Park by the station to meet Brindley and his students and go to karaoke. Karaoke is amazing, and Ned says we have a new one in Spokane near the North Costco and I MUST GO. It was funny as hell.
Joel spend about six bucks on a machine and won a hamster or some such and gave it to some girl he thought was cute. I think Joel has an Asian fetish. He also owes me a hundred yen.
After the karaoke, two of the students crowded us all into one of these picture booths that are in massive herds all over Japan. Vending machines are too, though we've all noticed a decided lack of trash cans and have thus concluded that when Americans domesticated the Trash Can and Japanese domesticated the Vending Machine, they forgot to show them to get along.
I'm off to bed then, because we've got an intense day of bicycling and shopping and zen thinking tomorrow.
~DJ

Fucking Thursdays.

I cannot seem to get the hang of Thursday. I'm quite afraid I've lost my rail pass and souvenirs from three days ago along with an assuredly lost 2000 yen. Today is my day to fuck the hell up.
I never could quite get the hang of Thursdays.
Lost items aside, my day was spent mostly nervous, with the introductions to two groups of English-studying Japanese school kids. I can go no further than 'My name is,' 'I am fifteen,' 'I'm in my second year of high school,' and 'I like video games.' Ah, the joys of foreign languages; learning five useful phrases and a billion useless ones. I spend mass amounts of time apologising for my existence on the green and lovely land that is Japan while men who appear no older than twenty rush about in business suits around me.
But, I digress. Ned acts as if we have learned about as much Japanese as the kids in Japan have English, which I know cannot be true because they have studied far longer than nine months. Yet, we actually want to learn Japanese and that can make all the difference.
Ned's friend Brindley showed us about Kobe today, and good god my feet hurt. Brindley is from South Africa, but he's got a brilliant accent and speaks great Japanese. He's also six foot three--about as tall as Aaron--and literally sticks out among the admittedly shorter Japanese populous.
He says we're going to meet up with some of his students tomorrow, which I'm afraid would just be uber-awkward-sauce or equally awkward splitting of gender/race/both.
But either way, I'd best be off to find my rail pass... *gulp*
~DJ

INTENSE PAIN.

This isn't hot-sauce pain, my friends. This is intense, I've-on-my-feet-for-twelve-hours-straight pain. It is so goddamn painful to walk--and my cut foot is no goddamn help.
But, I digress. Beyond the physical pain of my knees down is the sublime surrealism that is Japan. The rare Mountain Dew that is found in this land is bubblier and has less sugar than that of the American Dew. Pancakes come in packages, ninja shoes need their own special socks, violet umbrellas have patterns of flowers on them, wooden bokkencan be purchased to beat your fellow gaijin with and lolita shops are available to tart yourself up in. I revel in the absurdity of these people, with their insane amounts of cell phone charms, ridiculous clothes and ability to squish in to clearly-already-over-crowded trains.
I think I'm shrined-out. No more mysterious ancient temples for me; I'm full-up, already! The shopping is getting a　little wearing as well. I can take only so much! I don't have unlimited amounts of money to spend, and I am reaching the breaking point of insanity with all the little bits and pieces I cannot help but want so desperately I buy.
Whatever. We're going to two Japanese schools tomorrow, where Ned will show off the horrible video I made and I will hide my face in shame. I swear to god that all I want right now is to sleep in my comfortable bed with my comfortable pillow and comfortable lighting and then wake up at three. In the afternoon. Fuck this shit, I wanna sleep in.
Or just ride another comfortable Japanese bicycle. Those things are hella awesome.
Sleepily,
~DJ

More Japan! (Are you annoyed yet?)

Day... is it four? Three? I can't seem to recall whether or not I was counting the first day on account of the first 'day' traveling to Kyoto.
In any case, my feet hurt, I am tired, I crave annoyingly American food and I swear to god that if I could sleep forever I would. But dear gods, I feel alive.
Among other things, today we got up quite early to get a train to Osaka, where we saw Osaka Castle--and I got in free for being under sixteen--(stay tuned for pictures later this month) tried real Japanese sushi--the kind that you get off a conveyor belt--bummed around in the immensity of Yodobashi Camera--I got a pair of flippin' sweet new earphones--and went to see a Japanese baseball game where we shouted to an American baseball player that he sucked.
First off--Osaka Castle is surrounded by this immense deep moat with monstrous fish that probably deserve their own Tokyo-destroying movie. They want the capital moved back to Osaka, probably.
The Japanese sushi was in this sort of covered mall--kind of like two strip malls a sidewalk apart with only a roof above them--along with an intense video arcade and a multi-storied manga/anime/weird-Japanese-crap store. After which, Ned and Megan took us to a shopping mall (a real one this time) featuring a life-sized sperm whale with a baby, painted entirely red. It was... surreal.
Yodobashi Camera... how does one describe something so large and technophiliac? Eight stories of mass technology, clothes, toys and other amazing crap. It's probably a far more profound experience for somebody like Joel, perhaps, with the $200 er... 'headphones' he explicitly calls them. I took it as an opportunity to find earphones I like that work well, and I did.
The baseball game, too, was an intense experience I wouldn't exchange for anything but would NEVER EVER DO AGAIN. We sat right underneath the people from the competitors of the Hanshin Tigers, the home team, and they apparently felt the need to make up for their lack of fans by being even louder than the home teams' fans.
Well, I feel I've wasted enough of your day, and I'm tired too. We had to detour trains today after one of ours had a... 'jumper.' Did you know your family has to pay for the clean-up if you're a jumper?
~DJ

Land of the Rising Sun

Ⅰam in Japan. This is both amazing　and　distressing. I have already tried　to commune with Japanese nature, and I have paid the price; I got a cut on my foot that bled profusely. But I don’t flipping care because I have already done so, so much in this amazing land.
I have ridden an exceedingly comfortable bicycle, gone across a bay in a sea bus, been taught how to eat そめん　by an old lady, seen the temple of the thousand Kannon, drank sacred water out of a holy cup and--best of all--I keep drinking an amazing juice with a happy face on it. This juice is so goddamn happy that I am going to drink its contents. Japanese juice sometimes comes in aluminum bottles and it tastes better than any American juice I have ever tasted. Apple juice is like biting into a freakin' apple, without the biting.
If you read this before I get back, Heaven S, I am bringing you back a full juice for your tasting pleasure. I dunno what kinds you like though, so if I receive no emails, I will bring Fruity Paradise.
Blah, blah, blah... something about how epic this is... Something profound... Blah, blah. I'm going to go buy a peanut butter sandwich and possibly some pancakes.
Internationally,
~DJ

In Other News...

HOLYSHITIJUSTREALIZEDIMGOINTOJAPAN OMGOMGOMGOMGOMG SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

That is all.

~DJ

Never

My horrendous second draft is complete! [insert fanfare of choice here] I am so glad to have this monkey off my back for now. I'm still not totally happy with it, though, so I intend to get more edits. (Anybody? Anybody?)
But I think I'll run off a few copies tomorrow at school and give them out for editing purposes and because it's always best to have a hard copy.
Any takers on editors/people who want to read it/friends who I don't see every weekday can email me for a copy--thatjerk666@gmail.com.

Or just comment for one. I'll find you.
~DJ

Australia

I just read an article in my dad's Economist, and I convinced that either Japan/Canada/Australia is the way to go. Japan because they're amazing and it'd just be plain awesome to be able to say that I worked/lived there. Canada because free health care, speaking English, and it's possible to buy KinderEggs there. Australia because it has a booming economy and is accepting many immigrants. And they speak English!
I dunno. Anywhere but the US seems so, so tempting.
~DJ

God hates me.

This must be true because Google Documents didn't save the latest version of my story. Now I must go through the whole thing and change the things that were changed. I had fully intended to take care of the things that needed to be taken care of, namely, the bits with red pen, but now I can't do that.
A hundred and twelve pages of editing doom. This would be easier if it wasn't mine.
~DJ

TAKE THAT!

For once, the title has absolutely nothing to do with the Ace Attorney series. Can you believe it, I'm doing a post on something NOT retarded?! Ja, I know!
The purpose of this post, however, is due to my happiness at the defeat of the First Revision Monster.
He's the third boss; after the Brainstorming Beast and the Deadly First Draft. I totally just came up with those myself, by the by. Finishing stuff makes me all inspired-like.
So, all mistakes/parts I don't like/parts that needed changing anyway are on paper and by the end of tomorrow I expect to have finished with the mini-boss of the Savage Second Draft.

Honestly, if anybody could turn writing a book or ANY PAPER into video game-like format, wouldn't it be me?
~DJ

Sasquatch

I spent my Monday at the Gorge, Washington. And, happily, Sasquatch Festival. I would have liked to have gone the whole time, but I was too poor. *Sad face here* The important thing is, though, that I got to see Flight of the Conchords live. They are just as funny--maybe more so--than on the YouTube videos.
I also have to admit that the Flaming Lips show was... interesting. To say the least. I think I saw one of the teletubby-people afterward.
In completely unrelated news, I am half-way done revising my story and I HATE IT MORE THAN EVER. [insert stabbing motions here]
~DJ

Possibly more tired.

I hate biking. It seems so utterly purposeless to me. I am a lazy, lazy person. I do believe that I could rival a Giant Tree Sloth, I am so tired and lazy-like now. The effort I'm using for typing is only from a Live Wire.
There are days when it seems like it would be the best thing ever to lie down and never wake up, and there's days when it feels like you could. This, for me, is the third kind of day, wherein both sound utterly pleasing beyond believability. Aly's chair is comfortable enough, too.
~DJ

I am tired.

I am so tired all the time. I don't even know why. Am I tired of school, tired of my house, tired of my existence in the universe? I dunno. I just always want to fall asleep and never have to wake up.
I don't want to worry about cleaning my room or zits or impressing anybody or reading books or learning Japanese or whether the school is going to collapse around my ears. I'm sick of trying and trying and trying and looking back and realising that none of it fucking matters.
I am tired.
~DJ

PS2...2

I AM SO ESCITED! (that's excited for those of you who couldn't tell) Joel is going to sell me his PS2 on a loan-ish basis. He needs monies for dates and stuff, and I have thirty dollars WAITING for my neighbors to go out of town and hire me again... I don't think they're going to, though. I have to admit that I'm not particularly good at caring for animals. That's why I need a cat. Those things usually take care of themselves, ja?
In any case, I now have another game system with which to waste my summer away... Plenty of games to beat. (All my Zeldas ect.) Plus invitations to Kibbles's Mother Ship, the Mockaneema Mother Ship. Hooray! With the addition of holidays, I shall be rarely bored this summer!
Already tiredly,
~DJ