INTENSE PAIN.

This isn't hot-sauce pain, my friends. This is intense, I've-on-my-feet-for-twelve-hours-straight pain. It is so goddamn painful to walk--and my cut foot is no goddamn help.
But, I digress. Beyond the physical pain of my knees down is the sublime surrealism that is Japan. The rare Mountain Dew that is found in this land is bubblier and has less sugar than that of the American Dew. Pancakes come in packages, ninja shoes need their own special socks, violet umbrellas have patterns of flowers on them, wooden bokkencan be purchased to beat your fellow gaijin with and lolita shops are available to tart yourself up in. I revel in the absurdity of these people, with their insane amounts of cell phone charms, ridiculous clothes and ability to squish in to clearly-already-over-crowded trains.
I think I'm shrined-out. No more mysterious ancient temples for me; I'm full-up, already! The shopping is getting a　little wearing as well. I can take only so much! I don't have unlimited amounts of money to spend, and I am reaching the breaking point of insanity with all the little bits and pieces I cannot help but want so desperately I buy.
Whatever. We're going to two Japanese schools tomorrow, where Ned will show off the horrible video I made and I will hide my face in shame. I swear to god that all I want right now is to sleep in my comfortable bed with my comfortable pillow and comfortable lighting and then wake up at three. In the afternoon. Fuck this shit, I wanna sleep in.
Or just ride another comfortable Japanese bicycle. Those things are hella awesome.
Sleepily,
~DJ

More Japan! (Are you annoyed yet?)

Day... is it four? Three? I can't seem to recall whether or not I was counting the first day on account of the first 'day' traveling to Kyoto.
In any case, my feet hurt, I am tired, I crave annoyingly American food and I swear to god that if I could sleep forever I would. But dear gods, I feel alive.
Among other things, today we got up quite early to get a train to Osaka, where we saw Osaka Castle--and I got in free for being under sixteen--(stay tuned for pictures later this month) tried real Japanese sushi--the kind that you get off a conveyor belt--bummed around in the immensity of Yodobashi Camera--I got a pair of flippin' sweet new earphones--and went to see a Japanese baseball game where we shouted to an American baseball player that he sucked.
First off--Osaka Castle is surrounded by this immense deep moat with monstrous fish that probably deserve their own Tokyo-destroying movie. They want the capital moved back to Osaka, probably.
The Japanese sushi was in this sort of covered mall--kind of like two strip malls a sidewalk apart with only a roof above them--along with an intense video arcade and a multi-storied manga/anime/weird-Japanese-crap store. After which, Ned and Megan took us to a shopping mall (a real one this time) featuring a life-sized sperm whale with a baby, painted entirely red. It was... surreal.
Yodobashi Camera... how does one describe something so large and technophiliac? Eight stories of mass technology, clothes, toys and other amazing crap. It's probably a far more profound experience for somebody like Joel, perhaps, with the $200 er... 'headphones' he explicitly calls them. I took it as an opportunity to find earphones I like that work well, and I did.
The baseball game, too, was an intense experience I wouldn't exchange for anything but would NEVER EVER DO AGAIN. We sat right underneath the people from the competitors of the Hanshin Tigers, the home team, and they apparently felt the need to make up for their lack of fans by being even louder than the home teams' fans.
Well, I feel I've wasted enough of your day, and I'm tired too. We had to detour trains today after one of ours had a... 'jumper.' Did you know your family has to pay for the clean-up if you're a jumper?
~DJ

Land of the Rising Sun

Ⅰam in Japan. This is both amazing　and　distressing. I have already tried　to commune with Japanese nature, and I have paid the price; I got a cut on my foot that bled profusely. But I don’t flipping care because I have already done so, so much in this amazing land.
I have ridden an exceedingly comfortable bicycle, gone across a bay in a sea bus, been taught how to eat そめん　by an old lady, seen the temple of the thousand Kannon, drank sacred water out of a holy cup and--best of all--I keep drinking an amazing juice with a happy face on it. This juice is so goddamn happy that I am going to drink its contents. Japanese juice sometimes comes in aluminum bottles and it tastes better than any American juice I have ever tasted. Apple juice is like biting into a freakin' apple, without the biting.
If you read this before I get back, Heaven S, I am bringing you back a full juice for your tasting pleasure. I dunno what kinds you like though, so if I receive no emails, I will bring Fruity Paradise.
Blah, blah, blah... something about how epic this is... Something profound... Blah, blah. I'm going to go buy a peanut butter sandwich and possibly some pancakes.
Internationally,
~DJ

In Other News...

HOLYSHITIJUSTREALIZEDIMGOINTOJAPAN OMGOMGOMGOMGOMG SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

That is all.

~DJ

Never

My horrendous second draft is complete! [insert fanfare of choice here] I am so glad to have this monkey off my back for now. I'm still not totally happy with it, though, so I intend to get more edits. (Anybody? Anybody?)
But I think I'll run off a few copies tomorrow at school and give them out for editing purposes and because it's always best to have a hard copy.
Any takers on editors/people who want to read it/friends who I don't see every weekday can email me for a copy--thatjerk666@gmail.com.

Or just comment for one. I'll find you.
~DJ

Australia

I just read an article in my dad's Economist, and I convinced that either Japan/Canada/Australia is the way to go. Japan because they're amazing and it'd just be plain awesome to be able to say that I worked/lived there. Canada because free health care, speaking English, and it's possible to buy KinderEggs there. Australia because it has a booming economy and is accepting many immigrants. And they speak English!
I dunno. Anywhere but the US seems so, so tempting.
~DJ

God hates me.

This must be true because Google Documents didn't save the latest version of my story. Now I must go through the whole thing and change the things that were changed. I had fully intended to take care of the things that needed to be taken care of, namely, the bits with red pen, but now I can't do that.
A hundred and twelve pages of editing doom. This would be easier if it wasn't mine.
~DJ